I know, I know! I said "a couple of weeks", and it's now been a couple of months! Shocking behaviour on my part. Disgraceful of me.
As it turns out though, researching and writing a history of 14 Sherlock Holmes movies, and the story of Communism in Hollywood, are NOTHING compared to the epic saga that is the story of Universal Horror movies, which has proved to be a sprawling, endlessly researchable topic that has blessed me with many, many late nights and lost weekends since I started on it.
Originally, I was going to split the episode into two or more parts, which would have meant that I could have released at least the first part by now, but as I went along on my merry way, I realised that it was a tale that had to be told all at once.
It's a big one. I mean, a VERY big one. It's at least as twice as long as 'Sex In Monochrome', so it's actually going to be less of a podcast, and more like an audiobook with special effects.
Anyway, I'm pleased to say that not only has the research and the writing now been completed, but the recording is in the can. The raw file, with just my voice on it, stands at almost seven hours. Obviously, it's going to be trimmed down quite substantially, to get rid of all those coughs and swear words, and all those times that Yodel arrived with a package, and those moments where the dog next door decided to sing.
Now comes the hard part though, the sifting, the refining, the studying of waveforms to look for clicks in my throat, second by agonising second! Once that's done, I'll have a very large, very intricate line drawing. The last step is to add the colour, which in this case is music, and hundreds of clips.
I was hoping to have all of this done by now, and would've if it hadn't been for a rather large something.
For the last eleven years, I have worked at my job, the hours of which were rather kind to my social life. I started very early in the morning, and finished by midday, which meant I had all afternoon to myself, plus weekends.
Just after I released Episode 20, I had a job offer.
It's basically my dream job. Sous Chef at my favourite restaurant, working under a Head Chef that I consider to be an absolute genius. Completely self-taught, and a prodigiously talented designer of food. I couldn't say no, so for the past four weeks I have been learning the ropes there, and it's going great.
This does have the unfortunate side effect, though, of robbing me of most of my free time. Time that I ordinarily would have used to produce my podcast.
So in a nutshell, that's the main reason why Episode 21 isn't available just yet.
Going forward, I am going to have to make a few changes. Up until now, I have been producing four normal shows and then disappearing to produce a special for a while. Now, I am going to start producing a regular weekly show instead, and work on the specials in the background. When they're ready, I'll release them.
It's silly not to have been producing weekly shows while I was working on this special. They take absolutely no time to make, and I have so many things to show you and tell you about, I could've made a show a week. The reason that I didn't was because 'A Universe Of Horrors' is EPISODE 21! I even had promo pictures made stating that fact, so Episode 21 now has to be 'A Universe Of Horrors'. It can't suddenly be Episode 35.
Bad planning on my part.
And I've missed making the shows so much! I have watched so many movies that I can't wait to tell you all about. I've unearthed some hideous radio adverts that I can't wait to share with you all. I'm practically foaming with ideas, and the radio plays that are coming up are so weird and wonderful. I know you're going to love them.
Anyway, I just wanted you all to know that I haven't died. I haven't quit the podcast. I haven't grown bored. I haven't lost my voice. I haven't been abducted by seagulls.
I'm working on it. I'm looking forward to being back in your ears. I want you all to hear this special. I can't wait to get back into the groove.
So to sum up, Episode 21 is still coming. Attaboy Clarence will be a regular weekly podcast beginning with Episode 22. Specials will still be made, but less frequently. I haven't died.
Thank you for all the emails, the tweets, the messages, and the reviews. They have perked me up at exactly the right moments.
Speak very soon